Friendships and Sisterhood: It's Time to Form Them!

“As a kid, TV had me looking forward to a fantasy adulthood where you and your friend group would all get off work at 5:00 p.m. and then meet up at your favorite spot where the owner and waitresses knows your names and you order “the usual”. I really thought that was going to happen”- a tweet from Twitter. Quote: "I wanted to go to 847 like Girlfriends. I wanted to go to Peach Pit like 90210." "Living Single and Girlfriends lied to us about how adulthood was going to go. I do not visit my friends place daily, we do not meet at the same restaurant/bar daily."

"I have Girlfriends and Sex and the City to thank for my unrealistic expectations for how much we congregate in adulthood." another tweet from Twitter.  Quote: "meeting up with your friends almost everyday, having your career path paved, casually dating several people, knowing the owners of the restaurants/bars you go to etc."

"I just want a friend to hike, play tennis, workout with, cook and go to fine dining with. Is that too much to ask?" a tweet from Twitter. 

 "I love being the spa friend, the picnic friend, the afternoon tea friend, the museum friend, the winery friend, the travel friend." a tweet from Twitter.

"I just want a group of elegant friends to go fancy places together, drink fine wine, listen to lana del rey and watch old hollywood romance films." a tweet from Twitter.

These are just a few tweets I have seen on Twitter. On Facebook, there is a group of 115K women hoping to make new friends.

As feminine women: we NEED other feminine connection. It is great for bonding, to have another person to be vulnerable with, and to share commonalities, interests, and life experiences with. I wish true sisterhood on every woman.

Ladies: now is your time to form your duo, trio, or friend tribe! It is your time to make more time to get together with friends for martinis, spa days, facials, day trips, dining, fitness, movie nights in silk pajamas and face masks, brunching, goal setting at cute coffee shops for lattes and cappuccinos, and fun!

Time and time again I am noticing women, young and older, express how much they want and need a friend, bestfriend, and sister, but some of these ladies are not making a consorted effort to form genuine friendships. I get it. You have had hurtful experiences in sisterhood. Some of you have experienced competition or jealously in friendships, unsupportive behavior, outright rudeness and/or disrespect, lack of boundaries, or just experiences where you decided you no longer align with your friends' lifestyle, behaviors, or choices. I get it, but you know what? You have to let that little hurt in my heart go, heal your friendship womb, and open your heart to genuine friendships. Just as you would open your heart and try again for romantic relationships, it is important to do this for friendships as well (as for members of my private society we will discuss why it is necessary to have friends when being strategic about your life). So heal! Especially those of you who did not have the best relationships with your mothers and/or maternal figures in your lives, as these relationships shape how we view other women.

In life we are taught that romantic relationships are more important than any other relationship. Some of us are groomed on how to be great wives. Some of us are taught how to "catch his attention." Others are taught how to "keep a man." We are also taught how to vett in romantic relationships and the list goes on.

What we are not taught is how to be great friends. We are not taught how to maintain friendships. We are not taught how to vett for great friends. Friendships are relationships too. Just like romantic relationships and just like familial relationships. I think it is time we start learning how to cultivate these relationships just as we do others. 

It is time to put yourself out there! You deserve sisterhood experiences. Just be sure to vett according to values, customs, interests, and lifestyle just as you do men. So what green flags in friendship should you look for when it comes to vetting?

Continued for Private Society Members.