Have We Become The Women We Complain About?

Posted by Precious Jewel on

On January 6, 2024, Halle Bailey finally announced her beautiful baby boy, Halo, to the world. To no surprise, most were upset in the decision made by the Disney Princess. While some were upset that Halle's baby will "slow Halle down" on her brink of success," others were upset with who Halle allowed to father her son, given the antics we all witnessed this past year. I must say, Halle's decision to have a child by her current partner took me by surprise. I would never, however, discard Halle because of it. Young black women deserve grace to make mistakes.  

In a desperate attempt to gain more black mainstream representation that is not hypersexualized, aggressive, and raunchy, many of us (to a fault) unfairly placed Halle Bailey on a pedestal that Halle did not ask for. Halle was poised to be our current black american princess--representation that black women and girls do not receive often anymore. In the words of the lovely youtuber, Chrissie, "Halle was on her way to becoming the next Black American Sweetheart. Halle has a beautiful angelic voice. Halle has an Halo effect. Everyone assumed that Halle was just this angel. Overall, Halle has the sweet "nice girl" archetye, which can get a girl like her pretty far in the entertainment industry." One of my lovely mutuals labeled Halle's image the "debutante" image.

Seeing Halle go from a beautiful Disney princess to a young unwed mother partnered with her current love of interest was not in the 2024 cards many of us expected. Many, younger and older, expressed feelings of hurt, shame, disappointment, and even anger towards Halle's decision. Some of Halle's previous supporters have even decided to no longer support Halle. My question: why not give Halle compassion? Why not extend Halle grace? Why not give Halle room to make mistakes? Have we forgotten that Halle is only 23 years old? It is of my belief that many of us have become or are becoming the women we complain about and some of us do not even realize it.

"The black community hates black women and girls." "Black female artists should appeal more mainstream because the black community will quickly turn on them." "Black mothers coddle their sons but raise their daughters." "Black girls are adultified even at such young ages." "Older black women are too hard on young black women and little black girls." The list can go on. Some of us have even discussed being anxious in certain spaces due to the demographic being so cold and mean towards younger black women. While I agree with many of these very popular statements, I also believe that it is very important not to become the very women and "community" that we complain about. If you believe that women and girls deserve to be treated with more softness and grace, why not start with Halle?

Some are new here so I would like to state how I became so popular during my influencer era. While I easily gained my first 1,000 followers in one week when I first joined Tiktok after posting an etiquette video, it was not until I made a post and blog titled "treat black girls more softly" that I gained plenty of followers. The comments were quite sad. Many expressed that their mothers or female caregivers never showed them softness, were super hard on them, never gave them any grace, were never affectionate, were emotionally unavailable, raised them to be people pleasers, and the list goes on. How can anyone who endured any of this and know what it feels like not to be given grace discard of Halle and treat her similarly?

As someone who has experienced Halle's predicament myself at her age (being discarded for not living up to impossible standards of perfection), there is no way I could ever discard of Halle for making a mistake that many 20-something year-olds make. Giving young black women the grace to make mistakes, course correct, and learn from their mistakes as they grow older and wiser sounds so much better than becoming the older women who never showed us any grace. My perspective for 2024 is to start seeing and treating young women, girls, and princesses the way I would my future daughter(s). All young women and girls deserve to be treated with softness, gentleness, and compassion. We all could benefit from grace. I will treat them as such.

In the words I sing to my goddaughter "I need you know, you're so beautifullllllllllll. " Kelly Price, Sue Me

***Prestige School of Protocol does not reserve the rights to any of the tweets provided above or below. This blog was also not created to start or continue a generational war. I have lovely older women in my life as I am sure all of you have! This essay is to highlight how some of us have become some of the women we complain about.

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